My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
