I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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