i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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