Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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