Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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