I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You took a bar mat shot.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
