So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Randomize
