p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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