i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize