So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
