whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
