We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize