Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
