It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
