Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The adults are the big ones right?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
