Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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