Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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