Small penises have feelings too.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
