OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
