A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
