his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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