i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize