So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
