I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
