I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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