This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
