Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
