I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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