is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
