that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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