is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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