she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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