Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
