I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
