But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
