she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
