Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
