Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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