I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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