i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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