I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
