I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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