haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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