I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
don't judge my taste in strippers
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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