she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
