So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
