Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
