Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
