She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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