i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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