I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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