either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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