Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize