Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
