i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
