In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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