at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
