it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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