We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
