we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
