the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
