fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
