I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
