Kiss
Puke
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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