I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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