let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
