Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
