that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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