I wanna passion pit in your ass
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
