i think my tv is drunk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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